Nellis Manor Ward

Today we went to our new ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Nellis Manor Ward.  It is only 15 min away from the base and is comprised of all the members on the Nellis AF base (Nellis has a large LDS population) and a new housing area in North Las Vegas.  It is a very young ward with a young bishop.  There are 4 nurseries and a large primary.  Both of my kids have plenty of children in their primary classes.  The people were very friendly and I found myself wishing for name badges so that I could tell who the military members were.  I just have so many questions about base life and it would be good to get perspective from a church member.  The thing I like about starting in a new ward is that Ward Family becomes very important.  We can move anywhere in the world and we will still have family, a ward family.  How reassuring.  A sister even invited us all over for Easter Dinner.  What a kind way to help us feel involved in this new ward, new area, and new lifestyle.  Thank goodness for the Church.

From Springville, UT to Nellis AFB, NV

April 16th was our moving day from Springville, Utah to Nellis AFB, NV.  The moving truck arrived at 8:00 with a crew of just three.  This was a little disappointing, but they worked fast and filled the truck by 12:30pm.  There was still about a third of the house to go so the driver told Josh that he would have another truck on the way in an hour.  Sighs from us, we waited.  An hour came and went and Josh got on the phone.  It turned out there was a mix up with the weight estimation of our move.  They were under about 6,000 lbs and there was not another truck on the way.  Josh explained that he needed to be to Nellis on Thursday (the next day) to start work and he needed to move his family today.  He started calling everyone from the moving company, to Hill AFB, to Nellis AFB, to the travel office and finally was able to get someone to agree to call another crew in.  They had to come from Ogden, UT and did not arrive until 5:00pm.  We moved things out of the house quickly but had to wait for things to be re-cataloged.  The truck was finally loaded and the house cleared at 8:30pm.  This is when we all got sad.  We went through every room saying goodbye.  The thing about our situation that has been hard is that Josh's job did need to change.  Our home, our neighborhood, our school, my jobs did not need to change.  It is heartbreaking to say goodbye to these things.  Bear had a really hard time because I think she is old enough to realize that we will not be coming back.  We have been very happy in Springville and our heart are very tender.  So, we pulled away and pushed through the night, arriving at Nellis AFB at 2:00am Utah time.  We checked into our Temporary Living Facility (TLF) and went straight to sleep.

We are staying in old Officer Quarters.  I say old because the housing has been updated on the base and we are in the former houses, now used as TLF's.  We are on a beautiful, quiet circle with full grown trees and a walled backyard with a rope swing.  Positive things about our TLF: 1. spacious living quarters with washer, dryer, and daily maid service, 2. backyard with three huge trees masking the fact that we are in the desert, 3. Close to Josh's work, the kids new base school, and the central workings of the base.  Negative things about the TLF:  1. We are awoken each morning at 6:30 am by Revelry, 2. We are isolated and away from the people and activities of the new housing area, 3. We have no internet access so I will not be loading pictures onto this blog until we move to our permanent home.  

The kids have been adjusting, in some ways better than me.  They seem to be happy most of the time.  They have enjoyed playing outside but they have not enjoyed being dragged around the base while Josh and I try to figure out this new life of ours.  Bear and Bub have already written letters to their old teachers and classmates.  This made me so sad.  I just hurt for them and for the loss of these associations.  I think that is where a lot of my sadness is coming from right now.  I carry theirs as well.  Bub has been extra sulky throughout the day. He is a child of extremes so he is either happy or not, no in between.  I can tell that he is not able to voice his concerns about this move.  Pants has had an inconsolable tantrum every day, usually after her nap.  She has not been getting very regular naps so she constantly has red eyes.  I hope this will turn around soon.  We have only been here for three days.  I know that I have really high expectations of things and for myself, sometimes to my detriment.  I crave a routine and a focus to my day.  I hope that we will be able to create this next week with the start of school.  We are working on involving ourselves in the base and have been seeking out services that will help us to do so.  

We miss our Utah loved ones!  

COT Graduation

I traveled to Montgomery, AL to attend Josh's COT graduation proceedings.  On Thursday (4/3) I attended the family meeting.  This was a good overview about what to expect from military life.  They had a presenter from the Airman and Family Readiness Center (a one stop shopping for all things related to the family), Tri-Care (the Health Care provider), and the Legal Assistance Program.  Then they had a spouse panel.  It was good to ask some questions about schools, base life, ways to get involved with other spouses, and family vacations.   The meeting concluded and we were excused to the retreat ceremony.  This was the first time I saw Josh.  He was wearing his blues and looked so great!  The officers stood at attention as we sang the national anthem and the Air Force song.  Then the flag was lowered.  

He looks so good!  About third row in the middle

In the evening I attended the Dining In with Josh.  He wore his formal mess dress.  The dining was a formal affair with rules of conduct and respect given to the visiting General.  We toasted to the US Flag, the Commander-in-Chief, to the Air Force staff, and to the comrades killed or missing in action. The dinner was also light-hearted and silly.  The officers performed skits about their time in training, so a lot of inside jokes.  We were not able to clap but had to tap our spoons on the table.  Then they opened the Grog.  The President of the dinner called for officers to relay infractions that needed to be addressed.  The Officer would stand and in rhyme, relay an infraction.  Then the offender would need to respond in rhyme his/her rebuttal and the President would decide if one or both would go to the grog.  One bowl was set up with alcoholic beverage and one with non-alcoholic.  The offenders salute the president, about face and fill a glass, about face and shout, “to the mess.”  The audience would respond, “What a mess.”  Then the offenders would drink the glass in one swig, tip the glass over their head to show that it was empty, about face and put the cup down, about face and salute the president again.  If any of these steps were done incorrectly, the offenders would need to repeat.  It was a very humorous even that is steeped in military tradition.  We were addressed by General Timothy Zadalis and his speech filled me with a sense of nationalism and pride.  In closing we toasted him and sang the Air Force song.  

Formal Mess Dress

The Grog!  Josh is third one from the Left in the back 

Friday was the awards presentation ceremonies.  This was the graduation day for Josh.  We first met in his flight room so this was an intimate presentation with the group that Josh has spent so much time with.  He received his graduation certificate from his flight leader, Captain Wilinski.  Then we all convened to the auditorium for the awards presentation.  Josh’s squadron, Falcon, received the award of Honor Squadron for having the best over-all scores during the training period.  Next we went to the field of the military parade.  This was stunning to me.  I was filled with a sense of pride and nationalism as I watched the formations, the order, and the respect paid of the flag and fellow service men.  The graduates repeated the oath of office and then threw their covers (hats) in the air as they were done!  Josh said goodbye to everyone and gathered his things so that we could fly home.

Josh with Captain Wilinski receiving his graduation certificate

During my time at graduation, I felt a great sense of community among the Officers.  I liked talking to them, hearing where they were going, what had brought them into the military, and their plans for their first duty station. I am sure this sense of community came because we all had a common goal.  This weekend has made me excited to see how my life is going to be for the next four years.

            

COT Experience

I asked Josh how his experience has been while at COT (Commissioned Officer's Training).  The ideal for the training was based on the premise that every nation rises and falls on the moral character of the leadership.  Phase 1- Indoctrination.  The idea in this phase is to put the officers through strain and stress and to see how they deal with this.  Josh experienced a lot of yelling, marching, and drilling.  This was a hard phase filled with lack of sleep and little communication with home. Phase 2- Development.  This phase focused on leadership and fundamentals of the Air Force.  He had a lot of classes and written tests about the history, and policies and procedures of the military.  Phase 3- Application.  They practiced their leadership and communication skills in this phase.  This is where the officers were told where they were struggling so that they could improve.  They participated in preparing and executing a presentation, challenge courses with their flights, and a tent hospital to feel some of the situations they may be put in when deployed.  Phase 4: Transition.  The officers learned how to take what they have worked on during training and apply it to their first duty station.  They were briefed about the operational Air Force and deployments.  Josh has come home feeling tired but successful in completing this first part of his new career.

Josh's flight was highly encouraged to perform spirit missions.  They stole and dressed up "Princess Fiona" in the middle of the night.

Josh mentioned that a lot of people had questions about the LDS Church. He was able to share things that we believe in.  He attended the local ward with eight other trainees weekly.  It was a small with two sets of full time missionaries and one former military missionary couple.  They were encouraged to participate in giving prayers, helping with the sacrament, and teach a lesson if desired.

The LDS Church is aware of it's Military members

Josh is away at COT (Commissioned Officer Training) in Alabama and on April 1st I received a letter from A retired General, Elder Bruce A. Carlson.  The letter stated that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints wanted to report that Josh was attending Church services while he has been at Maxwell Air Force Base. He wrote about how in these troubling times, it is encouraging to see members step forward to help preserve our freedom and our way of life.  He expressed gratitude for our sacrifices and service.  He outlayed the ways that Josh can find church meeting where he is stationed and if he is deployed.  There is a Military Relations Division PST-Military@ldschurch.org of the Church to assist family members and service members.  At the end of the letter it stated, "We know that the Lord is mindful of you and Josh and the challenges you will face together as he valiantly serves in the military."  I feel humbled by this letter. Sometimes I just get the narrow vision that this experience is mine alone and I forget that we belong to a global church and a loving Heavenly Father.

Achieving Balance

Have I achieved balance?  Yoga on the beach Carlsbad, CA

How do we achieve balance? How do we balance between our family life, work, religious life, and exercise and recreation? Right now I feel out of balance due to Josh's absence.  The things I value in my life are my family and spending time with them, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and my physical body since I teach yoga, ballet, and Zumba.  There have been times when I have been able to juggle them all and feel that I am doing each part justice but that is not always case because that is just life.  I normally do not ebb and flow very well, as evidenced by my "poor me" post of last week.  I struggle to keep everything under my control and tend to have breakdowns when things fall through the cracks.  Josh usually talks me through these breakdowns so it is doubly hard when he is not around.  Before Josh left, I made it a goal to keep my kids schedules the same as when he had been here.  I am really trying hard to stick to our daily routines and to not cut things out with the excuse that dad is gone.  This includes having family home evenings and our family MTC (Sunday morning scripture reading, Friend reading, and letter writing).  I was raised by a single mother (my father died from leukemia when I was five) and I have no illusions that I need a priesthood holder to continue with these practices.  My kids miss their dad but their lives have not been disrupted terribly so I think they are making it through ok.

But then I started thinking if I am truly balanced.  I do not think I am.  Most of the time I feel that I am drowning in my work and just trying to keep up.  I spend a lot of time planning lessons for yoga, ballet, Zumba, and my church calling as the Primary Chorister.  While I normally enjoy this preparation, it has felt like a bit of a chore these last two weeks.  I don't think I have found my balance yet though I am doing better than last week.  I think I am just adjusting to a new kind of normal. At a yoga class on Wednesday, I was talking to my friend Jessica.  She told me that tends to take whatever time she has during the day to read the scriptures.  This is due to life's inconsistency.  Sometimes it may be easier to just have the scriptures out on the counter to be picked up during the rare moments of quiet.  This seems to work for me as well.  I do not really consistently at one time during the day, just whenever I can.  So, I am asking you all, how do you find balance?  How do you find time to take care of your families needs, succeed at work, devote time to religious studies, and enjoy positive recreation?  Post your tips because I need all the help I can get!

Day 1

This was our last weekend together before Josh went to COT (Commissioned Officer Training) today.  We had some nice family time.  We went to the U of U Gymnastics meet, to lunch and dinner, and to see a movie.  We hoped to fill the kids with good memories that we can think of while Josh is gone.

I watched Josh with the kids on Sunday and we will really miss the energy he brings into the house.  Daddies bring laughter and fun that is different from a mom.  The kids were enjoying trying to scare Josh.  He would simply growl at them and they would squeal.  It was such a happy sound.  I hope that we will have happy sounds without him here.  They will just be different happy sounds.  Josh gave the kids a father’s blessing after dinner.  It is so nice to have his priesthood influence and I am sure we will miss that as well.  The blessings were tender and sweet.  He gave me a blessing also.  The phrase that stood out to me was when he said that there are people who are willing to help me if I will only ask.  Sometimes I have a hard time asking for help so I will have to be mindful of this.  The night was sweet and filled with a good spirit.

Josh went to the airport this morning (Tuesday) at 5:00am.  This will probably be a long day for him.  The kids and I had a busy day so we kept our minds off dad a bit.  We did not really notice his absence during the day because he is usually gone to work anyway.  At dinner time though, Bub asked if dad was coming.  I reminded him that dad is not coming home.  He started to cry.  He does miss Josh and he will notice.  I always get sad night too.  Nighttime was my hardest time after having babies for the baby blues and I feel similarly tonight.  Pants is getting sick and she was having a hard time at dinner too.  I quickly bathed the kids because I could tell that she needed to go to sleep.  She was cold, feeling sick, and crying for Josh.  She said, “I want my daddy.”  Me too Pants!  This made me cry which did not help her at all.  I need to stay strong for them but they need to know that it is ok to be sad.  We need to help each other during this time.  Bear can be so insightful.  She was very tender with me after having her own cry.  She said that we need to think about the good things that daddy is doing for us while he is gone.  She can be mature beyond her years at times.  I am anxious to hear from Josh.

Last weekend together- Ice Cream!