Day 1

This was our last weekend together before Josh went to COT (Commissioned Officer Training) today.  We had some nice family time.  We went to the U of U Gymnastics meet, to lunch and dinner, and to see a movie.  We hoped to fill the kids with good memories that we can think of while Josh is gone.

I watched Josh with the kids on Sunday and we will really miss the energy he brings into the house.  Daddies bring laughter and fun that is different from a mom.  The kids were enjoying trying to scare Josh.  He would simply growl at them and they would squeal.  It was such a happy sound.  I hope that we will have happy sounds without him here.  They will just be different happy sounds.  Josh gave the kids a father’s blessing after dinner.  It is so nice to have his priesthood influence and I am sure we will miss that as well.  The blessings were tender and sweet.  He gave me a blessing also.  The phrase that stood out to me was when he said that there are people who are willing to help me if I will only ask.  Sometimes I have a hard time asking for help so I will have to be mindful of this.  The night was sweet and filled with a good spirit.

Josh went to the airport this morning (Tuesday) at 5:00am.  This will probably be a long day for him.  The kids and I had a busy day so we kept our minds off dad a bit.  We did not really notice his absence during the day because he is usually gone to work anyway.  At dinner time though, Bub asked if dad was coming.  I reminded him that dad is not coming home.  He started to cry.  He does miss Josh and he will notice.  I always get sad night too.  Nighttime was my hardest time after having babies for the baby blues and I feel similarly tonight.  Pants is getting sick and she was having a hard time at dinner too.  I quickly bathed the kids because I could tell that she needed to go to sleep.  She was cold, feeling sick, and crying for Josh.  She said, “I want my daddy.”  Me too Pants!  This made me cry which did not help her at all.  I need to stay strong for them but they need to know that it is ok to be sad.  We need to help each other during this time.  Bear can be so insightful.  She was very tender with me after having her own cry.  She said that we need to think about the good things that daddy is doing for us while he is gone.  She can be mature beyond her years at times.  I am anxious to hear from Josh.

Last weekend together- Ice Cream!