Deployment- Day 1

Events from 7/7/2020

Are you in preparing for a deployment or in the midst of one?  Get my Top 10 List for Surviving Deployment here! https://www.yogatraveler.net/top-10-tips-to-survive-deployment

We have been preparing for Josh's deployment since February of 2020. This is our first deployment so we looked for ideas of things that we could do to help the kids prepare emotionally.  In secret (from Josh) we all wrote him letters that he will open each week on his deployment.  We completed the "Becoming a Self-Reliant and Resilient Family" home evening lessons from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  They are eight lessons designed specifically for military families.  Josh gave us all Father's blessings and he received a blessing from the Elder's Quorum President.  

I purchased Deployment dolls for the kids and we took family pictures.

 We also enjoyed tons of time with Josh.  Due to COVID-19, he completed four weeks of home quarantine in between his training.  We played tons of games inside and outside, watched movie marathons, ordered food, and walked our dog often.  I got very spoiled by both his helpfulness with house tasks and his constant presence.  I could ask him a question whenever I wanted and I could express my thoughts whenever I wanted.  I knew that I was living in a COVID bubble but I tried to just take it all in.

Then the morning arrived that Josh was to leave.  I had a horrible time sleeping because the waterworks had already started.  We all woke up at 3:30am to take him to the base for his ride to the airport.  I tried to stay brave as we said goodbye but I am not strong. 

This image will break my heart for six months.  Josh loves his little dog.

The whole day was a mess for me.  I cried every hour.  I felt that a piece of my heart had been carved out.  Josh is my best friend and I cannot fathom how I will survive without him for six months.  Since Josh has been around so much, I could not escape the memory of him.  His presence was everywhere in the house and instead of the feelings being sweet, they were like constant rips in my heart.  My eyes hurt, my head hurt, my heart hurt.  I tried not to wallow, my kids keep me busy, so I just cried through all my tasks.  I did appreciate the many text messages that I received of support.  Usually I do not like texts to express feelings.  But in this case, I appreciated knowing that I was being thought of and I did not have to respond.  I did not have to pretend that everything was alright and I did not want to cry through every conversation.  

I also felt very overwhelmed by my workload.  I always realize how much Josh helps me and he does it without complaint and without question.  The lack of his presence is a huge shift in my daily tasks.  I also noticed that the kids do not realize that Josh is really gone.  Pants kept calling me "dad" by mistake.  I am not sure why this happened, but it was like rubbing salt in the wound.  Bub wondered why I purchased four water bottles for our upcoming state park trip.  I had to remind him that Dad would not be attending with us.  I am not sure when it will sink in for them but I hope I can be ready to support them emotionally when it comes.

Breakfast out- COVID Style